I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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