I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
its not stalking. its research.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
