She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Your penis caused this!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
