This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
