If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
