the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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