dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My butt remains clenched, sir.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
