In the future we'll all be gay
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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