Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
