You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
