he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
