I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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