He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
