I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
