at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize