Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
