They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize