I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
