he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
