Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
