Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
