all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
