weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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