my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
