We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
