When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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