Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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