on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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