The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
