So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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