You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
