the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's blow job season.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
