M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
