I feel like abortions should bother me more
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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