i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
