I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
