i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
