Do you still have your period?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
