well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
