A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You can't special order awesome
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
