Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
