There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
