she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
