where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
