Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Oh god it's open bar.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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