U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
