well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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