I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
