I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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