i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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