If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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