I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
