I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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