Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
