Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Someone shit on the floor
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
