I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
