he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize