this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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